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April 2, 2015 / kristieinman

How I fall

kneeYesterday started with a lesson.

I was walking from the van to go get the kids loaded up and I somehow fell.  Fell hard!  I fell on all fours, like a cat, although substitute knees for the feet.  As I was down there the only thing I felt was anger and embarrassment.  It was only a second, but the feelings were larger – they were an hour’s worth of feelings crammed into a second.  Pure & undiluted. I literally spring up, I jumped my feet between my hands and rocketed up.  (Thank you yoga!) Nobody saw.  But I was still mad at myself.  How could I fall like that?  I ripped a hole in my capris and have a scrape on my knee, like a 5 year old.

The lesson:  Spring up!

Later that day I found out the BSU rejected me for the second time for their SLP program.  It was like I hit a wall, I was so sure I was in, I had planned my next 2.5 years around it.  My job was a miracle, I fully acknowledge that, so I knew getting me into the program would be a lesser miracle.  I fell again, not physically, but spiritually, emotionally, & mentally.  The anger and hurt were there.  It took me a few hours of being down this time.

I think I needed to fall physically yesterday morning as proof that at almost 50 I can still spring up, and I can move on.  I may have a tear in my pants and a scab on my knee, but I have what is needed to spring up and move on.

 

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One Comment

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  1. JoEllen / Apr 14 2015 4:44 am

    This would be a great mantra for life! Spring up! I love it. (sorry your knee is scabby)

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