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January 24, 2015 / kristieinman

Wandering thoughts.

I let my mind wander as I wiped away all traces of the tenant, gave away his food and doled out kitchen utensils and tableware to Goodwill, keeping a few interesting ones for myself.  I thought of him – this man I did not know – as I wrapped each mug, saucer, bowl, and plate as if I were moving my own dishes.

He wasn’t plannikitchenng on dying, although his was older.  (I don’t think any of us plan on dying.)  He didn’t die of old age, but from injuries sustained by a hit and run.  Maybe he would have lived through them if he were younger and his body had the magical healing abilities that time, and age, and life slowly suck out of us…maybe.

His ghost may have watched me spray all-purpose cleaner with bleach (something I would never use in my home, but seemed appropriate somehow there) eradicating the spills, drips, smells, dust, fingerprints, and every vestige of his trips made to the kitchen.  He ate simply, I could tell by the many frozen meals in the freezer.  He wasn’t a slob, only a couple of dishes were in the sink.  Maybe he like to entertain from time to time, he had many pots and pans, all untouched it appeared, for a while.

If his ghost was there then he was ignored – I didn’t say anything.  I felt a little foolish not even knowing his name.  We lived just a few doors down from each other.  I felt bad not knowing the value – not in dollars – but in memories of the many things I was giving away.

Was that plate a thrift store find that reminded him of a set his mother had?  Maybe a lover gave it to him with some sort of delicious dessert many many years ago and the sweetness of it never left his mouth.  Maybe it was nothing…..nothing.

I hear all the time about the footprint I am leaving.  But what kind of imprint am I leaving?  I felt so blessed to have children who will have children and they will have to go through my things.  They will know value, they will scoff at things I’ve kept – but will still not want to throw them away.  They will argue over things that are left, but not with hard feeling towards each other, but with a desire to hold onto something that is me.  OK – and maybe they will throw away stuff, because it is just stuff and they are all so wise.

Death is only a step.  It’s a step made without the weight of earthly substance.  It’s a light step, over the threshold and into a world so different, yet it is the same.  We will have the same opinions, ideas, addictions, yearnings, and thoughts.

I wish the tenant well.  I hope when he gets to the reckoning bar of God he is able to feel the love that our Father has for him – his son.  I hope his reunions with family are sweet.  Maybe I will meet him someday in the by and by.

 

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