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August 3, 2013 / kristieinman

Why I should win the “Part-time Maid, Chef, Personal Trainer, & Beautician Contest”

This is my essay for why I should win the above mentioned services:

I like that it’s only part time assistance, as I can do all these things by myself, I just don’t want to all the time.

The Maid: My children are moving out and leaving in their wake two younger siblings that have not learned the skills necessary for what would be considered “good help” these days.  It’s really not fair that after years and years of training they leave.  Danni (9 yo) can unload the dishwasher and pick up basic messes, she has yet to employ the stashing skills so over utilized by Harrison.  So many bills are left on the table, and I have even had to resort to paying some of them.  Enoch is almost 6 and enjoys putting items back into their proper receptacles, as long as once he’s finished he can poor them back out again.  The kitchen seems to be a problem spot, details elude me as to why since we have a dishwasher now and rinsing and loading should not be so difficult, especially for those that don’t live here but still eat our food.  Some of the mess could be my doing, but I don’t think I can claim all of it.

The Chef:  Now don’t get me wrong, I love to cook!  I enjoy making special meals for my family and others.  I also enjoy having people cook for me!  Sometimes the mental prowess required to come up with a meal is beyond my capabilities.

The Person Trainer:  I must admit my need for this assistant is purely due to the fact that I’m lazy.  I know what to do, I know how to do it, I just need someone to make me.

The Beautician:  This I don’t know hardly anything about.  I see wonderful ideas on Pinterest and try them and I end up looking like some sort of lab experiment gone wrong.  Maybe this is the best I can get in the beauty department, if so, that’s OK, I don’t think I’m hideous or anything.  But if someone could just show me how to keep my hair from frizzing, my makeup from smudging, and the right way to apply liquid eye liner, well that would be just peachy!

In conclusion, I have spelled out my needs [I think] succinctly and don’t see how my arguments would not be enough to sway any semi-intelligent judge to awarding me the prize.

Now I just need to find the contest.

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